Last week was full, this week was f-a-s-t. When I first was settling into being a stay at home mom there were many mornings when a tiny part of me would be filled with a certain terror as my husband readied himself for work. “How on Earth will we survive until dinner time?!?” It took a long time for the last remnants of that terror to fade. We have a great groove now. There’s less terror and never it seems enough time. Yesterday the kids were side by side lost in their own play. I stood out of view from the kitchen in awe of the peace and the quiet (especially since the drive home from school was less than quiet or peaceful. I think the yelling and tears were from being overheated and Ian joined in sympathy I can’t even remember).
I got my official mom hair cut this week. Maybe I shouldn’t say mom but birthday haircut. Ian has been pulling my hair and it was time for a change. My hair was similar when Lia was this age too. I think this concludes the “make-over.”
My husband and I were having a fitbit challenge this week. I thought I was pretty active running after the kiddos, turns out I’m not. It takes quite a bit of effort to get to 10k steps but once I started paying attention it wasn’t that hard to do and its made me more active than I ever would be without it. Plus, I won the challenge. Boo-yah. haha. It has actually been alot of fun. We race each other around the house and Lia cheers us on and switches teams to her fancy. Movement that is fun is always way easier to commit to. The scale hasn’t changed any but I feel like my composition is. The best bonus is I feel more energized.
I participated in a really cool project about Joyful Birth this week too. I can’t wait to see the finished work. It felt like sharing Ian’s birth story in this way was the final piece of healing I needed. I will share more about that as it unfolds. It was such an honor to be a part of it.
Its my birthday weekend. Looking forward to celebrating another trip around the sun.
Its been really interesting taking this time to reflect each week. Sometimes the progress is barely noticeable and there is so much that can be overlooked because its all happening so fast and so slow all at once. Its been fascinating to watch this process of becoming. What I’ve really realized this week is that through all of this I’ve found a greater appreciation for my body and that appreciating and accepting and loving is a practice. This week has been full.
I got to spend some time with a dear friend and her 1 month old. Isn’t it amazing how much growth happens from birth to 6 months? Wow. Its neat to see. Its also amazing to see another post partum body and revel in all of its amazingness. I wish I would have paused more in those early weeks to appreciate more instead of cringe taking those first pictures. There is nothing cringe worthy about a post partum body only beauty and strength and awe. Truly.
I went shopping (now that, at least to me, is cringe worthy). I saw in the mirror myself, at least the version I’m most used to. I bought size 10 pants and they fit. It felt good. I even squeezed into a few pairs of my size 8 jeans that have been hiding out in the office closet. It was nice to know that it won’t be long until they will be comfortably worn again.
I got to have tea with another dear friend and talk about the big things, the good things, the little things. And then I got to paint and catch up with a group of women that have become a life line for me and my season of motherhood. I felt my whole body melt just sitting with them. There’s nothing I can’t say about motherhood that any of them don’t say “oh yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about.” and also, “trust your gut and do what feels right.” (How truly lucky am I to have found all these amazing women) In that moment I was just me, no one’s mother or wife or whatever label I identify with I just was. It was so refreshing. I didn’t want the night to end and yet there was a beauty in knowing that this time of my life where I am so needed and irreplaceable that the me, just me is still in there and there will be time to simply be again.
I’ve been taking some pretty amazing yoga classes.
This week I feel whole.
Its been another interesting week. My body is morphing almost drastically, like it does at about this time in pregnancy just the other way around. (thank God) I think its been a combination of a cleaner diet, more yoga and time. I think all of these things needed to be in alignment for the scale to shift. I’ve been thinking alot about (sorry tmi) how many digestive issues I had while pregnant and lots of constipation almost like my intestines where in the way. Upping the fiber content to my diet with all the veggies and fruits has helped significantly to cleaning things out. It makes me wonder if why I held on to so much extra weight for so much longer the second time around is because it was all stuck in my colon. My chronic stomach aches that started after Lia was born are basicallly non-existant. Rehabbing my core made a huge difference in that.
I’ve also been thinking about how much clearer my mind feels and how eating foods that are green and alive give an overall better quality of energy. No jitters or crashing like with lattes. I actually had a latte yesterday and I didn’t even like how it tasted. (I can’t say the same thing for the cinnamon roll though and I don’t feel a bit bad about eating that ;))
Upping the yoga in my life has also made me feel more that a person and not “just” a mom. Its really important to my mental health to have that time as a person without attending to anyone else’s needs and it absolutely makes me a better mom.
Ian has morphed into a velcro baby almost over night. He’s completely fine playing or with someone else until he sees me and then it’s game over. Its almost comedic. He’s just about 7 months old and thinks he can walk. He’s close to crawling and probably would be already if he didn’t spend all of his time trying to stand. And this little meatloaf of mine finally rolled over today. He’s already got 3 razor sharp teeth too. Its flying by so unbelievably fast.
This has been a super fascinating week in regards to finding the middle path. I mentioned the movie Fat, Sick and nearly Dead last week. We watched part 2 this week also and when we were on vacation we came across Michael Pollen’s In Defense of food on pbs. It’s generated interesting conversations in our house. The gist is simple: eat food, not too much, mostly plants. I really enjoyed the section on the morality of foods, you know good foods and bad foods, the “I really shouldn’t eat this even though I am.” If you eat mostly real live food you can eat whatever you want and it really shouldn’t matter and nothing has to be “bad.”
So this week I focused on adding to my diet and not at all about giving up. I incorporated either a spinach, berry, water smoothie or beet, apple, lime, cucumber water smoothie or both every day using my ninja blender. I also added greens to my morning eggs a few times and more veggies to our meals and less meat.
Here’s what happened:
I had way more energy. If I started feeling tired in the start of the week I would make an afternoon green smoothie. I went to the bathroom way more. The scale dipped all the way down to 162. I didn’t crave sugar like I normally do. I forgot about my morning tea more than once and when I did have it, it didn’t give me the same satisfaction. This I found super interesting. I had the desire to move my body more. I did 4 yoga classes this week. I generally feel more happy and have more patience. My pants are getting loose. The leftover cinnamon roll coffee cake from Christmas that is in the freezer has no power over me at all whereas typically it would be gone by now. All of this was pretty immediate too.
I’d like to think the pregnancy weight after Lia just came off but the truth is I was working out with a personal trainer and also always worried about my milk supply. I’m focusing on doing things that make me feel good and it seems the excess is rolling off which is great and feels effortless and sustainable. It’s interesting to me that around this point of my pregnancy I started to get serious about being present for my baby and the birth. It feels like the same energy as I find my new normal.
I’m late to write because Christmas and being sick and then road tripping to the smokeys without internet. So here is some reflections from the last two weeks.
This week kicked my ace and was also a good reminder in consistency. I got the dreaded never ending cough we’ve been fighting off all fall. I was coughing so much it made it impossible to do my core rehab exercises. It always amazes me how hard you can work your body and how quickly it all falls apart when you stop. All my post partum issues came back like nothing ever happened, even the stuff I forgot about because it had been so long since I thought about or had to deal with it. So it was a good reminder that these tiny, short and sweet exercises are game changers, life changers and they are working. Also, I’m 6 months post partum and my body is still healing. The good news is muscle memory and my body sighed in relief and said yes engage that core and lift everything back up!
Facebook reminded me on New Year’s Eve that 5 years ago I was childless and going through a major career shift. I had absolutely no idea just how much my life was about to change. I started a business on my own, I got engaged, pregnant and married, moved my business, had 3 more pregnancies, closed my office, and so much more. These past 5 years I’ve learned quite a bit and been stretched in ways I never thought I would be. It makes me excited to think of what the next 5 years might bring.
Now that we’ve found a rhythm to life with 2 kids I’m looking forward to getting on my yoga mat on a much more regular basis and I’m looking forward to how much better I will feel because of that. I watched fat, sick and nearly dead last night and it was so inspiring. I was toying with the idea of juicing for Lia since she’s gotten so into juice and isn’t drinking enough water but this is bringing a whole new level of inspiration. I’m curious how that will all go and if you have a juicer you love and is easy to clean let me know about it!